Faking It

Part Five

By Philip Weigel

The Disclaimer is in the Prologue.

_______________________________________________________________________

Ryoga wondered where the hell he was this time, after leaving the Tendo home and heading out to search for Ranma and tell him his feelings he stumbled into a town that looked like a scene from Europe in the Dark Ages. "WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW?!?!"

A young boy looked at him with a devilish gleam in his eye. "You're in Sairaag. Where I will get Lina Inverse to cast the Giga Slave and destroy everything, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

Ryoga blinked, "Sairaag, never been here before, oh well." And with that Ryoga turned the corner and promptly got lost.

Hellmaster Phibrizzo blinked, "Well that was strange."

(----)

When Ryoga decided to look up from the ground he noticed he was in a dojo, but what dojo was 53 stories off of the ground? "You there, who are you?" A voice with a British accent asked.

Ryoga looked at the muscled man wielding a pole and wearing a bandana and overalls. "I'm Ryoga Hibiki, how do I get to Nerima, Tokyo in Japan?"

Billy Kane looked at the kid in front of him like he was on drugs; "Oh I can help you with that." And with that Billy bum-rushed Ryoga in an attempt to knock him out and question him later. Ryoga looked down and saw a piece of paper on the floor and bent down to pick it up. "Oh crap." Billy went flying over Ryoga and out the window and into the street.

Outside Andy Bogard and Mai Shiranui were walking in the evening air by Geese's Tower when suddenly there was an explosion of glass. Andy scratched his head, "I don't think that it's time for Geese's and Terry's annual three night fight." As soon as he said that Billy landed right in front of him.

"Ouch." Meanwhile across town Geese Howard was having dinner with his wife when he had a sudden urge to dock Billy's pay for property damage as well as sue for copy write infringement.

(----)

Ryoga wondered where that British boy went to and kept walking, looking down at the ground he continued until he was no longer in a dojo but in some sort of laboratory. "WHERE AM I NOW?!?"

"How the hell did you get in here? The security system was designed to keep Mihoshi out. (Though it hardly ever works.)" A diminutive redhead with green eyes yelled.

"Ano, who are you?"

Smiling she answered, "Why I'm Little Washu Hakubi, the Greatest Scientific Genius in the Universe. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Suddenly two little dolls appeared on her shoulder that looked like her. Doll A, "Washu-sama's the best."

Doll B, "Washu-sama's the coolest."

Ryoga shrugged, "Oh well." And walked down a hallway and got lost.

Washu couldn't believe that someone had ignored her, her, oh he was going to pay for that. She raced after him, but couldn't find him. "DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!"

(----)

Ryoga kept walking until he heard the sound of fighting. Thinking that Ranma was around, 'After all, who else would be fighting?' Ryoga rushed to the battle, but not before taking a detour through Golden Rod City and nearly crushing Pikachu, when he got to the fighting he saw eight girls in short skirts fighting a rock monster. He shrugged, oh well, easy enough to handle. He walked up to it un-minding of the protests the others gave and touched the thing in the chest. "BAKUSEI TENKENTSU!!" The thing just blew up into a million pieces.

The Senshi couldn't believe it, they had been fighting that thing for over twenty minutes and it wasn't getting tired and some new guy just blows it up with a touch. The prevailing thoughts were, 'Is this guy an enemy?' and 'What a cutie!' "He looks just like my old sempai." Everyone sighed you knew who that was. When they looked at him again, he was gone!! Now everyone was thinking, 'Where the hell did he go?'

(----)

Ryoga just kept searching for wherever Ranma was when he noticed he was in a metal hanger of some sort. "WHERE AM I NOW?!? DAMN IT, THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND!!"

Someone raised a gun at him, "You're at Colony L-1, and you had better explain what you're doing here or I will shoot you." The youth, who would later be named Heero Yui, said calmly.

Ryoga blinked, "I was looking for someone named Ranma and I have no idea how I got here."

Heero narrowed his eyes at Ryoga and was about to pull the trigger when a noise distracted him; he looked over and saw it was just a cat. Turning his attention back to Ryoga he blinked when he was no longer there. "Where could he have gone to?"

(----)

Ryoga was lost again; it was getting very annoying to get lost when he wanted to get somewhere else. His head was down and he was getting depressed, when he looked up he saw some signs that were in English. Fortunately he knew the language well. "WHERE THE HELL AM I NOW?!?"

"Hey Asrail, have you ever seen this guy before?"

"Nope Ichi, how you Jeremy?"

"Um, should I know him?"

"*Sigh* Never mind."

Ryoga blinked as he saw three people talking to one another, he wouldn't have thought much on it except, "How in the world does someone have skunk ears?" Shrugging he walked down the street, turned a corner and got hopelessly lost.

(----)

When he took note of his surroundings again, he noticed that there were some giant mechas fighting this monster. "Oh, my god, this world is getting invaded by aliens." Getting depressed at not finding Ranma and was going to get killed by some alien invaders he launched a blast of pure depression at the monster. "PERFECT SHI SHI HOKODAN!!" A column of pure depression flew at the alien, smacked into a red barrier, which shattered, and hit the ring-like creature, stunning it.

At NERV HQ. . .

"Major, what the hell was that?" Gendo Ikari asked Misato Katsuguri.

"I-I'm not sure sir. It was a green beam of energy, that's all I know." On screen, the pilots finished up what was left of the 14th Angel.

"Yo, major, what the hell happened? Whatever that beam was it was extremely powerful. And whoever did it was a lot more useful than baka-Shinji." Asuka Langely Shoryu spoke to Misato.

"I'm not sure, return for a briefing." Turning to an aide, "Find out where that energy signature came from."

"Already did ma'am, but whatever caused it is gone." Misato had an eye twitch and rubbed her forehead, it was one of those months.

(----)

Well, Ryoga kept traveling until he came across a cute pink haired girl fighting helicopter and people with rocket launchers. While he didn't care about girls that way, he couldn't allow someone to get hurt. "Shi Shi Hokodan." He fired a Ki blast at the tail of the helicopter. When it hit the helicopter went down and crashed into a lake.

Without having to worry about the helicopter, Atsuko 'Nuku Nuku' Natsume turned her attention to Emi-chan. She dodged the hailstorm of bullets and picked Emi-chan up and spun her around and around and around. Nuku let go and Emi-chan went flying. Turning to her savior Nuku blinked, wondering what this feeling was. She wanted to thank him, but didn't know how. Then she blinked as she remembered a movie not too long ago, where the guy who helped the girl spent time with her naked in bed doing a whole lot of interesting things. Nuku decided to follow him until she found a bed to do those interesting things with.

And with that Nuku Nuku followed Ryoga, as he got lost once again. This time with a traveling partner.

After a bit of traveling Ryoga sighed and turned back to look at the girl. "Look, could you PLEASE leave me alone already? I really need to get somewhere."

Blinking her eyes, Nuku Nuku said, "But why? Nuku Nuku wants to thank kind person!" And with that, Nuku Nuku latched onto Ryoga in a tight hug.

Of course, Ryoga, preferring men had an interesting reaction. His eyes widened in fear and he felt blood going to his nose.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

And with that, Ryoga was running, trying to get away from Nuku Nuku as if she were the Bubonic plague.

(----)

Morrigan Aensland fumed in anger as she was trying to take out Demitri Maximoff. The Vampire lord was very strong indeed. It would take quite a bit of effort to take him down.

Demitri looked up at Morrigan and smirked evilly. "You should come down now. There is no hope for victory for you."

Her face turning into a scowl, "We'll see about that, Maximoff!"

Demitri's smile turned into a frown. He was about to take to the air and attack the insolent succubus, when all of a sudden.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

*THWAM*!

Morrigan blinked her eyes in shock as she watched Demitri get clothes lined by some boy with a girl in school dressed latched onto him. "Hmm, rather intriguing..."

(----)

At a certain Hot springs, Keitaro was working hard at sweeping the floors, when all of a sudden...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Keitaro dropped what he was doing and ran to the direction he heard the scream. He was pushed aside as some guy with a large backpack and girl in school dress ran through...

It was then Keitaro realized that they had come in from the Hot springs...

And that many, MANY women in towels were following with blunt instruments of vengeance.

"Aw, crap..." Keitaro whimpered.

(----)

On the island of Lodoss, a war was being fought. King Fahn and Emperor Beld were clashing with swords, Heroes in their own right; they fought for what would decide the future of Lodoss.

It was then that a trail was being made as something pushed through the masses of Beld's army. Followed by the cry of, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Before anyone knew it, some boy with a large backpack, and some rather cute girl in a weird outfit came running into the battlefield and slammed right into King Fahn and Emperor Beld.

*WHAM*! *SHINK*!

As the boy continued running, both rulers looked down at each other and saw that they had just run each other through with their swords. They both fell down dead.

"Crap!" Deedlit said, to which most that knew her, face-faulted. "This doesn't solve anything!"

(----)

Ryu, the greatest Street Fighter of all time, stood by the edge of a cliff. He breathed the air in deeply. His arms crossed about his chest and eyes closed, he concentrated on his goal.

"The fight is all... The fight is all... The fight is all... The fight is all..." Ryu continued with his mantra. A small leaf blew by him on the wind.

The peaceful tranquility of the world around Ryu was broken by the rather loud scream of, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"What the," Ryu started say, but...

*WHAM*!

And thus Ryu was sent spiraling down the side of the cliff. "OW!" *CRACK*! "ARGH!" *SHNIKT*! "JESUS, THAT HURTS!" *KER-SNACK*! "OH MY GOD, THE PAIN!" "SLAM*! *WHAM*! *BONK, BONK, BONKITY, BONK*!

(----)

Richter Belmont, greatest Vampire Hunter of the Belmont Clan, stood over Alucard, very smug with himself. "This is the end for you, spawn of Dracula."

Alucard sneered at the accursed, possessed bastard child of the Belmont’s. "I... Won't... Give up."

Richter chuckled evilly. Holding his whip high, he prepared to let Alucard have it... But...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Thus, Richter found himself clothes lined, and falling from his perch. Alucard looked over the side and watched as Richter fell onto the ceiling of one of the parts on the castle...

*SHINK*!

And was thoroughly impaled on one of the spikes. "Well, that was rather easy..."

And thus, Ryoga Hibiki continued to run in fear, as he searched for Ranma AND tried to get away from this... WOMAN!!!