Faking It

Part Three

By Philip Weigel

The Disclaimer is in the Prologue.

_______________________________________________________________________

The former Fiancée Brigade was running scared now. They had lost their best scapegoat. Now it would only be a matter of time before people started asking questions and noticing odd patterns of actions between the three females. They knew they HAD to find this girl Ranma has chosen as his girlfriend and break up her relationship with Ranma. The women were so desperate that they knew that even if the woman didn't WANT to break up with Ranma, they would find some way to ruin her, run her off, or perhaps even off her...

However, Kasumi had something over them. She knew the truth. And she threatened to put their dirty laundry up for viewing if they did anything to break up Ranma and this girl.

So the three girls sat in Akane's room and thought. "What are we going to do? We HAVE to get Ranma and this woman to break up!"

"Agreed, Sugah. But how we can do that is the problem..." Ukyo said as she tossed a small spatula into the air and caught it.

"We break up, House-cleaning girl put us up to dry." Shampoo said gloomily.

Thinking about their problem for a moment, She said, "Any of you got an idea of how to break them apart without Kasumi tracking us?"

"No." Ukyo admitted. "Can’t think of what we can do to them.

"Shampoo not have idea." Shampoo said. "Akane's sister too, too observant for our good..."

Akane nodded her head, agreeing with the bubbly, nymphomaniac Chinese Amazon. Kasumi played EVERYONE for a fool. Acting completely oblivious, no one paid attention to her when she was around him or her. He knew what kind of information she had an ANYONE. She could probably ruin people faster and thoroughly than Nabiki ever could. Were Nabiki only worked inside Furinkan High, Kasumi went all around the city to get items to make dinner or do chores.

After some time, Shampoo spoke softly. "Shampoo thinks we is boned."

Akane growled. "DAMN IT! WE CANNOT BE OUTDONE LIKE THIS!"

Ukyo sighed. "Face it. As long as Kasumi said we can't do anything... Then... We... Can't?" Ukyo trailed off. She blinked her eyes. A smile started to creep across her face.

Seeing the look on Ukyo's face brought hope back to the spoiled brat of the Tendo Dojo. "What is it, Ukyo?"

Shampoo nodded her head rapidly. "Yes, yes! Please tell Shampoo there hope to save us, yes?"

Still smiling, Ukyo said, "We can't do anything personally against Ranma. Kasumi threatened us... However, she DIDN'T threaten Kodachi..."

Shampoo and Akane nodded their heads in understanding. Kasumi had not threatened Kodachi yet. Meaning, that threat would not hold precedence over her. Kasumi was too honorable to just hurt someone out right without them knowing.

"Still..." Akane began. "Will that be enough? I mean Ko-chan isn't exactly the most dangerous, or even largest threat..."

Shampoo nodded her head. "Wait! Spatula girl right; we can no go, but we get others!"

Akane nodded her head. "Of course! We can tell people we KNOW will attack Ranma."

Shampoo giggled. "Aiyah! So happy! Great-grandmother and Mousse break up for sure!"

"Not to mention good ol' Konatsu." Ukyo said.

"We turn on the water works and Ranma and this girl will be broken up in no time. Especially if I can find 'P-Chan'..."

All three women laughed. Yes, Akane DID know Ryoga was P-Chan. She knew practically since the beginning. However, it was a good way to make Ranma upset.

The women had their plan. They would not go against Kasumi's word. They would not personally do anything to break up Ranma and this new woman. Everyone else however was open range..

********

Kodachi was easy, all Akane had to was walk in the region of St. Hebereke's and wait.

"What is this," Kodachi's voice declared as she saw Akane. "The Tendo harlot dares come into my territory?"

"Shut up, Kodachi," Akane said. "I want to know what you know about this 'new girl' of Ranma's."

"New girl?" Kodachi said, her face taking on a serious cast. "What are you talking about?"

"Haven't you noticed Ranma disappearing on all these 'training trips?'" Akane asked, not mentioning that she hadn't herself. "Or are you PART of the training trips." Certainly Nabiki had indicated that it wasn't Kodachi, but it sounded more realistic for Akane to come around accusing her.

"I know nothing of his 'training trips,'" Kodachi said sharply. "I shall bid you good day, Tendo." And with that Kodachi leaped away.

Akane smiled as the gymnast left. Perhaps she wouldn't have been if she had seen the gymnast a few blocks away.

Kodachi pacing nervously on a rooftop, thinking, "If he has a real girlfriend," she was thinking. "He's not a valid object of attention anymore. And if I can't rant about him...then...then..."

Then her brother was going to find out about her. There was only so long that she could keep up this insane act...if it was still an act, she couldn't really tell anymore. And if her brother and father found her out...then she'd be in REAL trouble.

"Eccentric" sisters and daughters were to be indulged and ignored. "Disobedient" or "unconventional" sisters and daughters in complete control of their senses were to be "disciplined." Sisters that had been "replaced" by a Kitsune hiding from them in human form were probably to be eliminated.

"I have to talk to Ranma, I suppose," Kodachi said, wincing. "This would probably be easier if I had talked to him before."

Then again, she hadn't told anybody for fear it would get back to her family. Of course, this meant she had no friends and everybody believed she was crazy...

She whimpered and grabbed her head in frustration before slamming it into the roof for a moment.

********

And meanwhile, Akane had found a certain pet pig.

"...And now he has another girl, and nobody knows who she is," Akane said, weeping as her pet pig continued to broil angrily.

Akane was surprised as P-Chan wrenched his way out from her hands and started running away from her. Seeing him run at such speeds cause the smile on her face to widen. Time to act like she cared for the useless pig-headed dumb ass. "Oh, P-Chan! Where are you going? Akane needs her little piglet!"

With a large cry of 'bwee', Akane smirked to herself. Manipulating Ryoga was all too easy. She had him believing that she cared for his sorry porcine ass, and as long as she treated him nicely while he was in his cursed form, she had the makings for a powerful guard-dog. After all, Ryoga had been useful so many times in the past. It was becoming a challenge to make it seem like she was ignorant of his forms, but it was worth it, acting nice to him. Just made him all the more easier to manipulate him.

However, Akane's thinking was off. Way off. (Showing that she had once again failed her Intelligence Test). Ryoga was protective of Akane, but not because of the reasons Akane thought. Ryoga couldn't really give two shits about a woman. ANY woman. Including her! Hell, he knew she was trying to manipulate him, but he went along with it anyway. (In case he got in trouble, he could link it back to her). Ryoga's tastes were a 180 from the natural and more 'morally accepted'.

Ryoga liked men.

As he ran through the house, Ryoga found his goal. The furo. And with a piggy smile, he saw that there was already hot water in it. How convenient. Akane must have REALLY wanted him to break up Ranma and this woman. No problem he would.

After all, in Ryoga's mind, only he and Ranma belong to one another. They were two sides of the same coins. It was they that got each other to fight harder and truly become more powerful. All these women, the techniques of Cologne, the tricks of Shampoo, and the manipulation games of all the other fiancées, none of them had helped Ranma like he had. It was only himself that got Ranma to the strength he was already.

Having jumped into the furo as a pig, Ranma stood up as a man. "Ranma... I'll free you... I'm tired of hiding. I'm going to tell you how I feel..."

And he meant it. He always studied everyone. He knew that the situation in Nerima had now reached critical mass. All the girls were going to be exposed sooner or later, and Ranma... It was possible Ranma might be taken away forever. By some WOMAN!

"She'd never know how Ranma feels..." Ryoga grunted as he looked around the furo. He always kept extra clothing and packs in the changing room. He just had to find it.

Muttering lightly to himself as he searched, Ryoga was focused on one thing. "This woman. She'll be no better than the rest. Just a manipulative bitch, trying to use Ranma for her own selfish gain. She won't love him. NONE of them ever loved Ranma. None of them were willing to understand Ranma or let them into their hearts... Except me..."

Ryoga sighed. With his whole family having this damned directional curse, he was alone for the most part. Ranma was the first person EVER to truly be nice to him. Ranma, who started out as an enemy, a rival, was closer to him than ANY family. Ranma was the first one to go out of his way to challenge Ryoga to be better... The first to show kindness.

Ryoga had tried to deny it. But it was with the Koi rod incident that Ryoga FINALLY came to an understanding. It may have been magic influencing Ranma then, but Ranma loved him. Unconditionally loved him. Male or female form, Ranma wanted to be with him more than anything. And it was during that time that Ryoga realized they could live together without problems. Of course, Ryoga would prefer male Ranma, but they could easily use Ranma's girl-side as a cover story, making their love more understandable to the ignorant masses.

Finally getting into the changing room and finding his clothing, Ryoga looked up to the heavens and yelled, "RANMA! TODAY IS THE DAY WE FINISH OUR RIVALRY ONCE AND FOR ALL!" And he meant it. He would end the fighting between himself and Ranma. Now he had to find this woman and make her realize that she didn't deserve to use Ranma. She would NEVER be worthy to be in Ranma's presence.

Readying himself for battle, Ryoga knew he had to show this woman who was boss. After all, to Ryoga it was, "Ranma and Ryoga..." Ryoga sighed. "Together forever..." He then took off.

********

Akane had a smile on her face. Ryoga wouldn't take long (assuming he didn't get lost) to get things rolling. Soon the threat would be out of the way and Ranma would return to the normal routine. Problem solved.

WRONG!

Sitting at the table sipping tea, Kasumi put her cup down. "Oh Akane dear...SIT DOWN!"

Akane eeped and sat down...Kasumi was being scary again. Not good.

"Akane.Tell me why Ryoga came stomping out of our bathroom after I saw P-chan exit your room and go into the bathroom." Kasumi stared at her sister with hard eyes. " I serious hope you didn't go over my head and get others to try and break up Ranma and his fiancée."

Akane turned pale white. How did she FIGURE that out so quickly?

"Akane. You aren't the ONLY one who knows Ryoga's secret...and I know how you've used him before. I'm VERY disappointed in you."

"Y-You have no proof we went against your warning!"

"Your face.... and actions betray you Akane, plus why would Ryoga pick NOW of all times after I warned you three off to rush off with that 'find Ranma' look in his eyes. You and your three lovers are in deep shit Akane, and pardon my language but I'm getting sick of all this nonsense."

Akane bite her lip, unsure of what to say.

"Luckily I called Nabiki as soon as I saw Ryoga leave. She's going to handle a few things. As for the Amazons I called Cologne and told her that if Shampoo starts babbling about a new obstacle after Ranma...detain her and call me and I'll spill the beans."

"How? How’d you call them so fast without me noticing you use the phone?"

Kasumi grinned and pulled out a concealed cell phone. "Speed dial, Nabiki-chan was so thoughtful to buy me this last year."

Akane felt a LARGE pit growing in her stomach.

"I haven't gotten hold of Konatsu, nor the Kunos since nobody answered the phone, but you better pray nothing happens to Ranma or his girlfriend.... or you'll be in WORSE shit, than you are now."

Akane trembled.... Shampoo, Ukyo & herself in their blinded desperation to salvage the situation to their liking just BONED themselves beyond salvation.

********

Ukyo headed over to her restaurant, the Uc-chan's, to stock up on some food then go sic everyone she could on Ranma, preferably simultaneously to cut her tracks in the Chaos or their conflicting and bellowed recriminations.

Yes, this will work well, and Konatsu will be the perfect foil too. Shame he and Tsubasa can't really BE nice girls like they DRESS to be, but...

Ukyo stopped in dead shock, finally getting out of her musings a bit away from the Uc-chan's, now being wrapped in what looked suspiciously like stolen Happo-Dai-Karins by the Ninja and the Disguise Master! They were just finishing too.

She ran forwards, screaming "WHAT are you two DOI-IuoooFFF!" Kind of hard to continue when you got bowled over by a tumbling Tsubasa and fall on your fundament.

Tsubasa silently and copiously spat on her and simply left, as Konatsu sternly told her "We found out why you strung us both along, and used Ranma. Don't get me wrong, Ukyo, you of all people know how I'd love to be a girl for real even part-time like Ranma, but to know you used him like that! I'm just glad he discovered the truth so I could do this with Honor!" He then thumbed a electric trigger, causing every fuse to spark at once at the base, resulting in--

****PHWOOOOOOOOOOMMRMRMRRRMMRMRRRRRMMM!!!!! ****

The Uc-chan's was now an exploded pile of rubble. Not burning since it seemed that Konatsu turned off the gas first.

As Ukyo dropped to her knees, Konatsu said, "I have not revealed the truth, but I have not hidden it either. I now leave your service, as after the way my 'family' treated, it'll be a cold day in Hell before I live a life as an ignored, but sometimes-useful toy. I have only stayed from obligation, and Ranma's refusal of your deception severs this. Give Kasumi my thanks for the update. Sayonara!"

Ukyo just continued to go into shock, as Konatsu, a male, a Kunoichi, a damned good waitress, just walked away. At least he got out with his honor intact. A LOT more intact than the restaurant.

********

Shampoo was heading back to the Neko-hanten to try and convince Cologne and Mousse to break apart Ranma and his new girl by telling them that Ranma was cheating on her, after all, (in her mind) no one was better than her great-grandmother. She conveniently forgot about Herb's, Happosai and Ranma's abilities. (While Cologne could beat any one of these three in terms of skill, all three had more power than her. Herb had as much Ki control as she did, but had much more, she was never able to defeat Happosai, and Ranma defeated Saffron and Herb.) As she turned the corner to the Neko-hanten she spotted someone she knew was better than her, Pantyhose Taro. Smirking to herself, she knew that he would attack Ranma just for the hell of it. She went up to him and started talking, "What monster-boy doing in town?"

Taro blinked in shock that someone snuck up on him, not that he was putting any effort into sensing his surroundings, it still surprised him, turning around he saw that Chinese Amazon that lived in town. He had a few run-ins with Amazons before, and most of the time they weren't good, and the Amazons usually left the fight in either a casket or in a wheelchair, she was one of the few that got off 'easy'. "Looking for the pervert, what do you want cat-girl?" Smirking his annoying smirk Taro looked at her.

Shampoo frowned at him, but then smiled, "Shampoo know how to get old pervert to change name."

This caught Taro's attention. "Yeah, go on."

"Ranma has girlfriend, and if monster-boy beat up girlfriend really bad and break apart, Shampoo make sure great-grandmother capture old pervert and have him change name." Sure she was lying through her teeth, but there was no need for him to know.

Taro however knew about fem-boy's girlfriend, he had met her when she and Ranma first met. Through some 'certain' circumstances, i.e. name-calling, fem-boy and him got into a fight, and that Jagwere got involved as well when he turned into his monster form. While Taro was stronger and tougher, he couldn't keep up with the two of them and eventually lost. After that, while he and fem-boy weren't friends, they were at least civil to one another, and Taro had to admit that fem-boy's girlfriend was really nice. 'Too bad she's with fem-boy, other than the eldest Tendo girl and Rouge, she's the only one who doesn't care about my name.' He thought to himself.

Besides, he knew that Happosai would never change his name, no matter what. Still, he liked fighting fem-boy as he was a great sparring partner, that and the fact that fem-boy had set him up with Rouge. "Sure, why not, it's been a while since fem-boy and I fought." And with that Taro took off towards the condo. 'Heh, hope those two are decent, last time I barged in there those two were still going at it.' Taro thought to himself as he chuckled.

Shampoo smiled as she no longer had anything to worry about, with Taro and eventually Mousse and her great-grandmother, Ranma and this new girl would be broken apart faster then when a chicken egg hits the side of a metal barn. (Too bad she didn't know that Kasumi was way ahead of her.)